Crunch Time--Again!

;_; I'm back to beating the books again. Will post something longer soon. XP

Reliving Chivalry

I went to church early today because tomorrow, Sunday, I'll be early in the clinical setting. I put on a loose preggo-look blouse and slacks with matching heels. I went to church alone too. When I got out of the car, an elderly man in a Mercedes parked behind me and walked to church. He walked ahead of me and he took a seat. Coincidentally, there was a free seat beside him so I took it. When I sat, he spoke, "I should've walked with you."

I laughed. A gentleman, in these times? Certainly, this man is a jewel. I can only say his wife (he's married, I saw his wedding band) is one of the luckiest ladies in the world.

After mass, the old man offered his arm, and I took it while he said, "You better walk with me. Because you parked in front of me..."

I had to finish his sentence with a smile, "So you can leave easily."

We both laughed. I felt comfortable with his demeanor, an easy going man with seemingly nothing to lose. He befriended a stranger and spared her a presumptuous remark.

"Are you pregnant?"

I looked at my stomach. Was it really big? I denied his claim and laughed. He simply apologized and said he was too presumptuous. I wasn't really insulted but I had to not break his tender heart.

"If I was pregnant, I'd be the next Immaculate Conception."

Being the devout Catholic that he is, he let out a hearty laugh. He said he felt refreshed talking to me and that the world needed more people like me. In turn, I said the world needed more gentlemen like him.

After parting with pleasantries, I drove off with a smile and a good mood. Feeling good like this has been pretty rare for me, and I'm thankful that I'm still able to smile.

Journal Entry No. 2

You can tell I'm liking Psych Nursing somehow (mostly because it's a form of 'self-help').

May 24, 2008

I was having a hard time picking a patient today. I didn't want to pick anyone who was bound to leave the next day. I eventually picked a suicidal adolescent who had issues with self-esteem.

My partner and I were assigned to take the girl adolescent unit's vital signs. While we did our work, I noticed that some of the girls had cut marks on their arms. Their smooth, youthful skin, marred by lines of red that blooms into white. I wonder what anguish brings them to try and destroy their humanity.

I watched one of my classmates do some therapeutic communication. From her, it seemed so natural and I thought it was going to be pretty hard for me to do that. I always have been a quiet person and I don't naturally strike the conversation. I had difficulty approaching my patient, C. She was surrounded by these other girls who seemed to do nothing but giggle among themselves. And I wasn't feeling particularly friendly either. When I meet C's eyes, I'd just smile and nod. Oftentimes, she would just look away.

During group, I was surprised to find that the female therapist was tired of asking the same old stuff (i.e. how are you doing). The group just began started talking about 'sex'. Unfortunately, the therapist seemed to have no control over the patients. The discussion simply went on and on until they ran out of time.

The unit seemed peaceful until the end of the day. A patient apparently cut herself again with a knife from the kitchen. The nurse became a little aggressive when she resisted to remove all her piercings. Before we left, she had all her piercings off and had her wounds treated.

It was scary to think that these children were so deeply troubled. You'd generally think, how could this have happened to them when you went through your childhood/puberty successfully? And you'd wonder, could this have happened to me?

Journal Entry No. 1

This is part of my requirement for Psych Nursing. We're required to have a daily journal from our clinicals so here goes.

May 18, 2008

Today was our first day in clinical. Everyone in my group was rather tense. We all knew this rotation was going to be different. Although what we didn't know was what to expect.

We were first oriented to our requirements and later to the facilities. With the numerous doors, it took me a while to figure which way was out. I just had to know.

When we marched up to the adolescent unit, I was mortified to learn that they had roughly 30 patients, all under the age of 18. All of these kids were ill? Given my own history, it made me wonder how the situation would've been in my day. When Mrs. Hagerman had the door open for us, one of the patients tried to push his way through. Thankfully, Mrs. Hagerman was quick and didn't let him out. The boy mumbled foggily, 'I have to get out'. Was this place really so forsaken? I hope not.

Everything was written (which is a good thing in my honest opinion). All the work was done by hand and there was no room for laziness.

We went to the adult units as well and listened in to their group sessions. The therapist was at the center and the patients sat around him, a few yards away. They started talking about how they felt that day and what they liked to accomplish. I was moved by how they knew what they wanted to do. All they needed was the little guidance of their support system so they could take the few steps forward towards their goals.

I think I'll actually like this rotation. These patients could actually be an inspiration for a lot of people, especially me.

Boredom At Its Best

I shouldn't have traded in Heavenly Sword. I shouldn't have. Now, I'm bored as hell with CoD4 and Katamari Damacy. I need new games. Sadly, I don't have the money.

I worked hard for my Maternity class and got rewarded for it. But now, Psychiatric Nursing is here. And hell, just at the beginning, I already have so much to do. 14 bloody chapters for the first week. God help me.

Hm.. Is it possible to even die of boredom? Let's see.

Crunch Time

Finals next week. I have a whole book to read for 4 days. God help me.

Post will be short and simple.

I have no friends. I am emo. /wrist.

The Death of a Rose

I've taken a couple of weeks lightly. It's not so bad. But now, I'm back to working harder. Apparently, I've lost my sense of reality. I'm still in school, not on vacation. But then my parents aren't being any help.

For the past few weeks, we've been going out on weekends, looking for the house to buy. We've seen a little over 70 houses so far. It has been difficult. But then lately, tension has been rising. You'd think, that if you live under their roof, you'd be part of the decisions. Especially now, you're of legal age. You'd seriously think they'll listen to what you think. To your dismay, they'll say "You have no part in this."

...What? They plan to make me pay for the bloody house they want to buy and I have no say in it? I'm not paying for something I don't like.

Kung ayaw mo, di ka titira dun.

I won't. I am sure as bloody hell, I ain't paying for it.

Then they start saying, "You're going to buy a new house 10 years after we buy this one so no worries." Since when did you start deciding what I am going to do with MY money? You put me into this line of career and I can't bloody decide for myself what I want to do with the fruits of MY labor?

Then my dad says I'm not contributing to the housework. How the hell am I going to contribute to bloody housework when I have to read 220 pages this weekend? I'm not presenting myself? How do you think I'll even finish my reading if you keep watching bloody TV in full volume and fall asleep on it? And you wonder why your kids stray from you.

I wonder what will happen to either of you if I get into an accident and die. Who'll save you then?

Now begins the death of a rose. Slowly. But surely.